


Always

by meridian_rose (meridianrose)



Category: Blindspot (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Cross-Posted on LiveJournal, Cross-posted on Dreamwidth, F/M, Masturbation, Merry Month of Masturbation Challenge, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2016-05-11
Packaged: 2018-06-07 19:34:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6821296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meridianrose/pseuds/meridian_rose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been Taylor or his own hand for years, and so long as she's breathing, it will always and only be her or his own hand. (Early S1)<br/>For MMoM and for my solo celebration bingo prompt 'long distance relationship'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Always

Taylor, God, Taylor.

It's like a long distance relationship, except instead of her being thousands of miles away, he can reach out and touch her. She's not on another continent, she's not a familiar but faraway presence on Skype. Yet he can't touch her.

She doesn't even know him.

Taylor, now covered head to toe in tattoos giving specific information not chosen to express meaningful personal concepts, with that randomly cropped hair, and always the most beautiful woman in the world to him.

Oscar closes his eyes. He remembers her grabbing at her long tresses and hacking wildly at them. Easier to maintain during the mission, she says, will change her appearance, won't hide the planned tattoos on her neck. He can't argue, but he mourns this first attack on her identity, and he surreptitiously gathers up a lock of hair as a keepsake.

Taylor, his fiancée, who he loved more than anyone.

He reaches down for his cock. There hasn't been anyone but Taylor and his own hand for years, and there never will be, not so long as she's breathing. Taylor might not know him, she might be Jane Doe now, but she will always be Taylor to him, still his beloved.

Taylor, the first time she kissed him, the first time she said "I love you".

The memories are too sweet, too painful to dwell on. They only increase the ache of looking and not touching. So he turns to the last time they made love, all the pent up passion, all the rage he channelled into the act, all his fears that it might be the final time he could hold her, kiss her, make love to her. The last time she kissed him, made love to him, brought him to a climax with her name on his lips.

He works his cock, faster, rougher.

Taylor, Taylor, _Taylor_.

He lies there for a while afterwards, until the rush of adrenaline wears off and maudlin tears threaten. He can't allow weakness. He has a mission. He will always protect Taylor, even while she's Jane. He will die for her if he must.

A long distance relationship is usually one with an end in sight. A tour of duty to complete, a year of study to finish, a wait for a visa application to endure. There is no end in sight for them, but Oscar will continue to be faithful. Taylor or his own hand, always.


End file.
